Remembering Michael Jackson

People who know me know about the weird coincidence that happened the day Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died, so I'll just skip that and get to the remembering.

The first time I heard of Michael Jackson was when I saw the music video for "Beat It" at the Gilmers' house. The Gilmers are well known Bahá'ís who have a long career as musicians spreading the word of the Bahá'í Faith. I'm not sure what seed got caught in me, but before I knew it I had bought the "Bad" album on cassette.

I loved Michael Jackson well beyond the time everyone started making fun of him. I remember wanting to do a book report on "Moonwalk". I was laughed off. It was a hard day for me.

I'm not sure at what point I realized that Jackson was far gone beyond the point where anyone could save him, but it became too difficult to listen to his music. My brother, though, never stopped being able to enjoy his music. He's an interesting guy that way.

Rest in peace, Michael. I'm remembering you as the guy from "Thriller" who believed in the world.

My relation to pornography

Unlike most men my age, I keep no pornography on my computer. However, I occasionally look at fetish-oriented pictures and watch fetish-oriented videos. It has always depressed me that I sometimes resort to these things, especially when I've never needed pornography for the purposes most people use it for. But I think I understand better now.

I don't like that I look at pornography still, but I at least now know why I do it. Behind every posed smile, behind every vacuous stare, there is a lost soul. And something in my heart, something more innocent, believes that if I stare back, if I remember their faces, that purity behind the tempting façade, I can save them. God bless the lost souls, because nobody else will. Other than me, apparently.

Andrea Dworkin was a brave person who actually set forth the idea that women cannot be free unless pornography is completely abolished. I agree with her. I think she staked her life on this cause, and lost it. This world has a dependence on constantly regenerating itself in an endless cycle, and whatever is not part of that is destroyed. If that's the case, I'll stake my own life on it as well.

Trying to eliminate pornography, however, is pointless. People are who they are and I can't change that; only state what I believe, which I will do, in real life and otherwise. At least, I vow to try my best to do so. My hope and dream is to see a world without this.

Go ahead and say it will never happen. I intend to prove all of you wrong.