I win at games = I'm better than you
Some days I have to wonder why God brings certain people to me. I have believed that everyone who comes in my life is there to receive a gift from me and to give a gift in kind, and it's a matter of being aware of that. But what happens when the only thing I can take from an experience with someone is that some people are hopelessly handicapped?
While playing Duel Monsters Expert, I came across a player who took every opportunity to mock me. His attitude got me frustrated enough so that I intentionally played as slowly as possible to get on his nerves, and then he started upbraiding me for displaying behaviors that he had done not 10 minutes ago.
I'm not proud of the things I ended up doing - certainly not behavior that someone who is seeking to be in alignment with his own spirituality would have done - but in retrospect, I had to wonder: could it be he actually thought he was better than me because he could defeat me at this game? He said "I don't have to respect losers"; is that an attitude that I could ever have?
It seems a childish attitude, but people seem to believe this even in their later years. The world of competition often breeds people like that. And I know I could never become like that. There was a point in my life where it was possible that I could believe that, but not anymore. So what was the point of that encounter? He certainly didn't gain anything from me, other than perhaps the chance to lord his victory over me to himself. I didn't gain anything other than - what? The opportunity to feel good about myself? I can't believe that.
Or maybe I *need* to believe that?
While playing Duel Monsters Expert, I came across a player who took every opportunity to mock me. His attitude got me frustrated enough so that I intentionally played as slowly as possible to get on his nerves, and then he started upbraiding me for displaying behaviors that he had done not 10 minutes ago.
I'm not proud of the things I ended up doing - certainly not behavior that someone who is seeking to be in alignment with his own spirituality would have done - but in retrospect, I had to wonder: could it be he actually thought he was better than me because he could defeat me at this game? He said "I don't have to respect losers"; is that an attitude that I could ever have?
It seems a childish attitude, but people seem to believe this even in their later years. The world of competition often breeds people like that. And I know I could never become like that. There was a point in my life where it was possible that I could believe that, but not anymore. So what was the point of that encounter? He certainly didn't gain anything from me, other than perhaps the chance to lord his victory over me to himself. I didn't gain anything other than - what? The opportunity to feel good about myself? I can't believe that.
Or maybe I *need* to believe that?
posted by Danny Lilithborne @ 1:15 AM
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