Hooray for male pattern baldness

I have recently noticed a bald spot in my hair. I knew I would probably lose my hair in my lifetime and I thought I was ready for it, but it's in a weird spot - just below the top of my head - and it looks odd. I'm starting to think about combing it over, not for vanity's sake, although you could say it is. It just looks strange. And my age is starting to hit me, too. I wish I could put it some other way, but I kinda feel like a loser right now. The current bout of depression I'm struggling with isn't helping, either.

FUNimation ruined JINKI:Extend

This is one of my favorite anime shows, as a few people here know. I could live with or without the manga, as I think the mangaka is kind of clueless about human nature, but the anime is priceless to me.

Which is why I'm pretty furious about this.

I just watched the first dubbed episode that FUNi came out with, and my mind is reeling with anger. Why? Well, watch it for yourself if you dare, but I'll lay out my initial qualms.

* Aoba's grandmother's death is a key plot point because Aoba doesn't understand the reality of death. Dub throws the "YOU CAN'T DIE!" line into her mouth just because that's what people do when loved ones die automatically, right?

* Ryouhei is not pronounced "REE-YO-HEY". VIZ may mangle pronunciations from time to time, but at least they try. On that note, ruining the voice of one of my favorite anime male characters ever is unforgivable.

* Okay, it's been awhile since I've seen the original to confirm this, and I can't check because somehow every single fansub of JINKI:Extend on the net has mysteriously disappeared, but the keepsake Aoba has wasn't necessarily her grandmother's. At least, I don't think she said so with her voice. When I heard her say that, all I heard was "I CAN SEE THEIR PARACHUTES".

* "Let's be careful out there"... yeah. 'Cause Venezuelans totally know enough about "Hill Street Blues" to reference it.

* The sexism in American culture clearly shows here. Ryouhei in the original is just gruff and unlikable, and makes sexist jokes to push people away, but the dub takes it too far by throwing in sexist slang when there wasn't any. Also, cussing doesn't automatically make you badass.

* Speaking of sexism, remember those terrifying silent episode previews that the show had? Gone. Instead we have some corny soundtrack with Shizuka's VA drolly and monotonely trying to seduce us with the phrase "Watch it, you know you want to." I know I do not want to. GTFO with that shit.

* The only VA I recognized was Kira Vincent Davis, and she wasn't even playing a character I remember.

Holy crap, was this bad. I am not watching episode 2. I'm just going to wait until I can somehow get a pirate DVD or something. There's no way I'm trusting either FUNimation or ADV Films after this. The awful "uncut" Sailor Moon DVDs were bad enough.

Seizure yay

I had a massive seizure last week Wednesday, doubled by the fact that I was kicking so hard I sprained my left leg (there's a massive blotch of a bruise on my thigh) and I seized again while in the ER. Now I'm watching my behavior because there's little else that I can do, and finding that my OCD is the thing to beat to defeat this particular illness. It forces me to push my body well beyond its limits and I can trace all of my previous seizures to overworking myself.

Hell, here I am now on the computer when I should be resting. If I didn't have dialysis in two hours, I'd certainly rest. I'm going to have to force myself, I think.

I win at games = I'm better than you

Some days I have to wonder why God brings certain people to me. I have believed that everyone who comes in my life is there to receive a gift from me and to give a gift in kind, and it's a matter of being aware of that. But what happens when the only thing I can take from an experience with someone is that some people are hopelessly handicapped?

While playing Duel Monsters Expert, I came across a player who took every opportunity to mock me. His attitude got me frustrated enough so that I intentionally played as slowly as possible to get on his nerves, and then he started upbraiding me for displaying behaviors that he had done not 10 minutes ago.

I'm not proud of the things I ended up doing - certainly not behavior that someone who is seeking to be in alignment with his own spirituality would have done - but in retrospect, I had to wonder: could it be he actually thought he was better than me because he could defeat me at this game? He said "I don't have to respect losers"; is that an attitude that I could ever have?

It seems a childish attitude, but people seem to believe this even in their later years. The world of competition often breeds people like that. And I know I could never become like that. There was a point in my life where it was possible that I could believe that, but not anymore. So what was the point of that encounter? He certainly didn't gain anything from me, other than perhaps the chance to lord his victory over me to himself. I didn't gain anything other than - what? The opportunity to feel good about myself? I can't believe that.

Or maybe I *need* to believe that?

Acne at 30 is stupid

So I have this pimple on my cheek that got "ingrown" or something and is now a red blotch with seemingly no place to drain from. Thankfully, I have an appointment with the dermatologist on Wednesday, so he can look at it and tell me exactly what it is. It may just be acne but I really doubt it. I don't know what else to do til then but pray and go to the ER if it gets painful. But I mean, if it needs surgery... well, that will suck. It's on my fucking cheek.

Okay, that was a brief pause for physical challenges. I now return you to your regularly scheduled philosophical meanderings.

Hypocrisy much, Jack Chick?

One of Jack Chick's most salient points in his tracts was that when you were in hell, you burned for all eternity, alone. If you thought you'd see your friends and family there, well, you're mistaken.

Oh, wait...

Some Like It Hot

A man and his grandfather are shown conversing, and in a ridiculous scene, Satan tells them how it went down 2000 years ago. I mean, Mr. Chick, I know your goal is to scare people into believing in Super Shiny Death Jesus, but kids read this stuff. Do you really think they're going to buy this?

I'm only afraid that some more easily influenced people will actually be scared by this hogwash.

A self-hypnosis how-to

Over this past week, I had two root canals. This gave me the chance to practice some self-hypnosis.

If you close your eyes, you can often see little flashes of light. I'm not sure what they are yet, but if you focus your vision on them, they can sometimes expand, contract or dissipate, depending on just how strong your focus is. I think they may be unpredictable. But if you can draw your focus on them, it helps the time go by and can sometimes even free you from pain.

While I still had some pain during these root canals, they were generally milder than expected, and the recovery process has been, for the most part, pain-free. I'd like to practice this technique more.